fears, tears, and broken bottlesits all a joke
by William Snider
Summary: My first attempt at a legitimate story. Hope you like it


A flower pressed to my lips, a last kiss as i drop it to your casket. Rain pours drenching my clothes, yet i stand frozen. I remember your laugh, your touch, your kiss, your love. Nothing matters to me except being close to you, holding you. The light fades to night and yet i cannot move, all i did is because of this moment, because of your death. Don't worry dear, We will have the last laugh...

The lights flash on, ha. "Well well well good morning." A distant voice comes to my ears. "Doctor," This sweet voice brings me to open my eyes. " He was quite restless last night. He said one word last night though, a name, Jeannie. Do you know who that is, doctor?"

"His wife, she was killed in an accident at home..." "HUSH!" I screamed, "DON'T COVER FOR HUSH!"

"NURSE I NEED 2CCS OF BENZEDRINE STAT!"

Two men rushed through the door, grabbed my arms and legs as the doctor stabbed me with the needle. Warm, i feel so warm, drifting, weightless...

The alarm ringing in my ear, it bothers me, not like having a headache but more the fact that its been going off for ten minutes now and not one cop has shown. "Mr. J?" That sweet voice, how I'm drawn to it. "Mr. J, he says the money is gone!"

"What?" A small cackle escapes my throat as i leap the counter. I pull out a small knife and place it inside his lips. "Is that your final answer, Frank?"

"The door is on a timed lock and you need pass codes to get in, I don't have those codes!"

"Then it's a good thing I'm not here for your money,ha." I pull the knife from his mouth, he is shaking like a cold wet dog. He breaths a sigh of relief as i turn away. Had to make that damn sound. "Franky, Franky, Franky," I say as I turn to him slowly," Why so serious?" The thud is deafening as Harley's mallet lands square on his skull. He falls, a mass of skin and clothes. She has a smile across her face, it makes me think of you, Jeannie. It's all for you.

The light blinding now, how i hate those meds. Footsteps approach the door, high heals, I hear the clicking. The door opens to a beautiful sight. "Well Mr. J, what have you done?" That voice still so beautiful to me. "How ever will you get out," She says circling the bed I am strapped to. "How ever will that happen." She unbuckles my wrist restraint. I feel the power returning to my limbs. I roll and unbuckle my left wrist as she walks out the door, shutting it behind her with a smile. "I'll see you outside," she whispers. My ankles free i stand on the floor. The closet, I think, walking to it. I pull the door open, "Aha ha ha," I cant help but laugh as i pull my arms through the sleeves. "Miss me my sweety?" Purple and green once more i head toward the hall.

"Hello lady's and gentlemen!" My voice comes out better than I expected. Harley hid behind the front counter, she doesn't look right in that lab coat. "I am here for one thing only, bring it to me and i shall let you live."

"Wha-wha-what do you want," a doctor stutters as he steps forward into the light. "I wa-wa-want Batman's utility belt! Aha ha ha ha!"

"How are we supposed to bring you that? We don't even know who he is." A Nurse this time, short and stout. "Well Miss Teapot, either bring it to me or you all will die, get the joke?"

The water pours over me as I sigh so painfully. How could they not get it, I wonder. "Jack?" I hear her almost like a whisper in my ear. "Everything okay? I didn't see you come in, baby." I let the water wash the tears from my eyes. "I'm fine love," I lie. "They didn't laugh tonight is all." I shut the water off and grab a towel. The steam fogs the mirror as I walk to the sink. "Less tear more laughs," whispers from my lips. "Don't be so serious, it's only a joke. Just another one in this never ending joke book."

A knock at the door. How long have i been in here. "Yes?" I let it slip from my lips. "Jack you coming out soon?" Just Jeannie at the door, who else would it be. My mind wonders only to return focus on the door. "I'll be out in a few minutes ."

As i open the door i see the dinner on the table, cold most-likely, and candles nearly burned to the nub. "You made dinner? I'm sorry I wasn't here Jeannie." My lip quivers as these word escapes. " It's okay love, most of it just came from cans. That's all it seems we have anymore." I can tell she's holding back the tears. "How was your show tonight?" I remember the silence, she must see pain in my eyes. "They didn't get the jokes tonight?"

"They never seem to anymore."

"Have you tried to maybe explaining them?"

"If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke!" My voice breaks as i shout. My fists hurt, I look at them. How had I not noticed pounding them on the table? Standing quickly I grab my coat and slam the door behind me.

It's cold tonight, I can see my breath. As i walk, two men stroll up to me. "Jack?" He shuffles over to block my path. "Jack Napier?"

"Yes," my voice squeaks.

"We have a proposition for you."

Screams again. Haven't they seen a smile before? "Well?" No one moves. "Someone call the Batman!" They run to the phones tripping over each other. Ms Teapot had already fainted when I spoke to her. Everyone is too scared these day, always so serious. It was never like that when you were around.

"What do you want me to do?" It almost hurts to talk. Blood is freely flowing from my nose now.

"Do what we planned," the last thing he says cuts deep, "your wife's death makes no difference to us."

"She was pregnant!" A flash of pain as his gun lands a hit on my cheek. "Do the job," he tosses a cloak to me. "You're Red Hood now." He turns and walks down the street like nothing had just happened. Slowly i rise to my feet shakily. As I return home I see Jeannie's picture and break down. "Batman will make Gotham safer," Her whisper in my mind. "Just you wait and see."

"SAFER? LOOK WHERE BATMAN GOT US!" Her picture smashes on the wall. "look where we are now."

I'm shaking, it's not cold out, I'm nervous I guess. Nothing to lose anymore, that's why they killed her. Where was her savior? I had to do the show that night, had to bring in money. And where was her Batman? Where was he? "Red Hood?" My eyes come back to focus. Two men standing in front of me, much too brawn for me. Too clumsy for the delicate work that must be done. I know they will kill me when it's all over. And yet I don't care. "Click." The gate unlocks and we sneak past the guard station. "What are you looking for?" They seem to be running everywhere inside.

"Let us worry about that, your lookout now." One of the men knocks over an empty oxygen bottle. It falls from the catwalk with a loud clang. "Idiot!" The other man yells. "Now we have to hurry!" I begin to pace, fearing the worst. Footsteps, maybe one of the guys. I strain my eyes to see in the darkness. I'm not seeing anything, then the ears emerge into the light. "Ba-ba-bat," I fall backwards over some steps. "Batman!" I turn to run and hit the railing straight in the waist. My momentum takes me over the it. I grab the rail as i begin to fall. The hood slips off, Batman leans over to try and grab me. "Take my hand," he says. I reach but my other hand slips and I fall. " Jeannie!" The only word that come from me as I hit the vat below.

Pain everywhere, I'm blinded, but i swim to the top. I feel the rim and pull myself out. The lights are on now, they blind me. Cops are everywhere, Gotham's finest. Coughing I make my way out, sneaking past everyone, easy when you know which one's were paid off. "Gotham's Finest," I chuckle. I suddenly feel lighter, happy, almost insane. Your thought keeps me moving as i leave the scene and walk down the street. I see a couple and begin to ask them where our street is, they see me and she screams. "Get away from us you freak!" He screams trowing a bottle at me. I duck and run away. What is going on?

Home at last. I open the already kicked in door. "I need to fix that," I say with a slight chuckle. I'm tired, it's been a long night. i reach for the light switch and see it. "My hand!" My screams sound so far away. I rush to the bathroom and look in the mirror. My skin is bleach white, my hair green and my lips a red only women should wear. "Aha ha ha, " I'm cracking up I just know it. I take my razor and press it inside my lips. "With a red like this it deserves a smile," I say as i pull the blade quickly. Blood stains the floor, I feel nothing. I laugh as i do the other side.

It's 6:08 when I walk into the building. Damn traffic I think to myself. "Good morning Dr. Quinzel," the nurse says handing me a stack of folders. "The usual patients today."

"Thank you," I mumble as I walk away. "Oh Doctor!" Her voice picks up as she stands quickly. "I almost forgot, you have one new patient." I grab the folder and walk quickly to my office. I set the folders on my desk, put away my coat and sigh. Another day in this state of sanity. I chuckle to myself. "AHAHAHA!" A laugh echos down the hall. It catches my attention, it's a males voice. I've never heard such a laugh. My attention turns to the pile of folder in front of me. The usual she had said. I pull the new folder off the stack. "Jack Napier," I read out loud. I begin to open the folder and a picture falls to the floor. Wow, he's cute I think as I pick the picture off the floor. I open the folder and read his background.

3:00pm and it's time for my interview with Jack. "408," the words come out in a whisper as I reach his door. I open the door to find a man in a straitjacket asleep on his bed. "Mr. Napier?" My voice shaky. I've never been nervous around a new patient before he arrived. "Jack?" His eyes open. "Yes doctor?" He chuckles. He is obviously insane, I write on my notepad. "My name is Dr. Quinzel." I introduce myself. "Do you have a first name or shall I call you Quinzel?" He laughs to himself. "It's Harleen," I state almost too quickly. He raises his eyebrows. "Well then Harleen, what can I do for you." He says sitting up. "I'm here to learn about why you've done your crimes." I say shutting the door.

A month she tells me, I have been here a month. I feel nothing these days, that is until she walks in the door. I know she cannot be here all the time, other crazies here to be attended to. I just think of you, when she smiles. Jeannie you will always be my love.

November 12th

I feel it now. I get excited to work and hate to leave. He is changing me, I do not know if it is for the better. He tells me everything, but he never talks about the family he once had. He says he is the Joker not Jack Napier. I called him Mr. J jokingly and he said he loved it. I must sleep so I can go in early. Goodnight Mr. J even though i know you cannot read this.

January 23rd

It's been three months and I'm beginning to fall for him. He makes me laugh. I fell like he is right, everything he says is true. He says I'm beautiful when I smile. I cannot write more for fear that my coworkers or boss might find this diary. I love him, let that be known by what I do next.

A week had passed since i last saw her. The door opened and she slid over to my side. "I know how we can get the bat Mr. J," she says with a grin. My eyes focus on hers as she spoke. "Make him come to us, get his girl."

"Rachel," I whisper. She nods. A grin takes shape as she loosens the straps around my wrists. "I've been thinking Mr. J," her soft voice says to me. "Harleen just doesn't suit me."

My heart pounded as he spoke to me. " Harley," he said."Harley Quinn." I giggle as i hug him. "I love it, I love it, I love it!"

My my my, how I love this suit. "Perfect for a party, don't you think so my dear?" She looks at me, bright beautiful eyes behind her mask. "Yes, Mr. J. You look ready for a party!" The elevator bell rings. "Well we better not keep our guests waiting," I say as the doors open.

"Explosions were seen at Gotham Heights Hotel this evening. Sources tell us that the initial explosion happened in the penthouse floor where a New Years party was underway. It is not known how many casualties there are. It was reported that Bruce Wayne was to attend the party with girlfriend and assistant D.A. Rachel Dawse. No word on if they where there when the explosion happened. Witnesses report a rain of playing cards shortly after the floor erupted in fire."

"What do we do now, Mr. J?" She asked turning he smile my way. "We wait," I said with a chuckle. "It's your move Batman. Come catch me if you can."

A flower pressed to my lips, a last kiss as i drop it to your casket. rain it pours drenching my clothes, yet i stand frozen. I remember your laugh, your touch, your kiss, your love. Nothing matters to me accept being close to you, holding you. The light fades to night and yet i cannot move, all i did is because of this moment, because of your death. Don't worry dear, We will have the last laugh, I love you...Rachel


End file.
